The Oratory RAW Review Crew: 04/19/04
by: The Raw Review Crew on: 4/21/2004 12:52 pm est  We're here, we're here, so quit your salivatin'. The Oratory RAW Review Crew has just rounded the corner, and you'd think we were some kind of crazy-ass team of ice cream men, what with the kind of smilin' crowd we've gathered in the second or two we've been within your line of sight. Yes, the only things that could possibly produce this kind of joy are bizarre, white, refrigerated trucks spewing basic, haunting melodies and the weekly internet RAW Review you've come to know and love. As always, my name is drqshadow and my little white hat is just as cheaply made as those of my cohorts; Lauren C., Samir, Brett Berliner, Adam Karabel and Corey Morgan. We're here to rock the house, y'all, and we're here to do it with an ice cream scooper in one hand. If you'd taken the time to peruse the loudly colored menus we've plastered on the side of our metaphoric, pastel-white vans before today, you'd already know the drill by now. What we do is simple: we sit in front of our televisions for two hours on a Monday night, think about what we're seeing, sleep on it and then come together here every Tuesday evening to share our opinions with you, the general public. We'll rant, we'll rave, we'll ramble and we'll riot. If we loved it, you'll know it. If we hated it, you'll never hear the end of it. We'll each take turns sharing these personal opinions with you (what can I say, we're selfless human beings) and then we'll pass the buck to the next person in line to repeat that same procedure with their own thoughts and feelings. But before we do that, we'll award the show a grade. On the scale of one to ten, this grade offers the purest of all emotions in reference to a weekly pro wrestling television program. If it's a ten, we loved it with all our hearts. A ten makes our knees weak, our throats bunch up and our undergarments feel a little different. It's puppy love, and we love the way we feel when we're with RAW. On the other hand, if the show's worthy of a one, it's the greatest enemy we've known in our entire lives. Not only have our knees spontaneously collapsed in upon themselves (a method of ritualistic suicide that's not regularly seen in an individual joint), but our throats have filled up with hives and sores, and our underpants have climbed as far up our colon as physically possible. And they're still squirming. I think we're violently allergic to shows that are graded to be at or near the level of one. So, in summary, if the show gets a ten it was a happy time, a whole bundle of wonderful new feelings and a permanent smile. But if it's awarded a one, it was a horrendous experience, watching your own body (and a couple pieces of fabric) turn on you and attempt to syphon the life right out. drqshadow was, surprisingly enough, the first big name in the regular rotation this week. Give it to em good, Q; drq: "If you read my portion of this week's Backlash Preview, you'll know that, while I was relatively happy with what RAW had pieced together for the April PPV, I was honestly worried about the direction they'd be taking for the rest of the season, and the amount of time it would take them to determine said direction. RAW has been a show with, honestly, quite a few very good ideas and storylines over the last six months, but its pacing has been a constant stumbling block along the way. The program (and the federation as a whole, really) absolutely cleaned up with the feuds, matches and payoffs of the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania, but once it had hurriedly established its half of the big WMXX card with well over a month to spare, there was a sense that we were just treading water until the big event actually got here. If you look back at the RRC's grades, you'll see a correlation there, too, as the numbers spiked just after the Rumble, when the Mania bookings were still coming together, and then slowly dove as the event grew nearer and nearer. So, when I saw a good number of WrestleMania rematches at this past Sunday's Backlash PPV, I worried that things hadn't been planned very far in advance. I had just cause... it's something the federation has done countless times in the past after a big card. There was only one way to be sure, though. If the writers really did have nothing in the tank for near future, they'd coast through this week's RAW, lightly touch on a couple lingering rivalries from Mania and just take it easy, since there's no PPV to worry about this month. If they had done their homework, this week's show would be a launch pad. The night started off on the right foot, not with a promo, a mysterious limousine or an update on Eugene's current whereabouts, but with a followup on one of the better matches at WrestleMania XX, and a chance to wrap up one of RAW's longest running storylines. Chris Jericho and Christian have had better matches than the one they pounded out last night, in my humble opinion. That's not poo-pooing last night's effort, per se, but I thought both guys looked a little off at the outset. The spots with Trish just felt forced and unecessary to me, especially the "bend her over your knee and spank her" bit. Doing it once is cute. Doing it the very next night is a bit much. To their credit, the match picked up after the commercial and built to a nice crescendo before the newest in a series of awkward big men fumbled his debut on WWE airwaves. They gave the match plenty of time, only to finish it off with a run-in from out of nowhere. I honestly thought Nathan Jones had returned when the new guy showed up, judging from the combination of his ugly balance, his choice of offense and his ineptitude at delivering said offense. Y2J and Christian deserved a better blowoff than that, if they plan to move forward with this new guy, Tomco, in Christian's place. I really do like that running enziguri Jericho's been doing. Benoit punched out a wicked promo in his first appearance last night, which honstly surprised me. Over the last couple months, the Crippler has become much more confident in himself, both physically and verbally, and is becoming a more credible champion as a result. There's no question in anyone's mind, his ringwork has always been there, but his charisma and comfort level with the mic have been well below average for years. Now that he's been given the chance to run with the ball, he's developing in those areas a lot faster than I thought he might. When you're afraid of the microphone, it comes through in your body language. Benoit was not comfortable on the stick, all the way up to the main event at WrestleMania. Since then, though, he's taken a more relaxed approach to that aspect of the business and has stepped it up big time. Case in point: rather than ignoring the fans' chants and barreling on through his promo, as he would've done just a couple months ago, Benoit stopped speaking to acknowledge the audience when they had something to say. The end result was head and shoulders above anything he could've said on his own. I was glad to see them finally take a step forward with Molly's character last night. It's been over a month since her hair hit the entryway in MSG, and we've all seen her without the wig on more than one occasion since then. As of last night, the constant removal of her wigs have gone from being a source of embarrassment to a source of frustration for the former champ. These are exactly the kind of heels I love to watch; Molly's completely justified in her anger, but takes it just a little bit too far in her hunt for payback. Now if only they'd let Victoria drop that shallow, smiley, goofy facade and go back to doing what she's best at. Randy Orton really did turn the corner Sunday night. There was something in the way he strode to the ring last night that confirmed it, something that had been missing from his character just last week. His attitude has gone from uncertain cockiness to unshaken confidence. For the first time since he came to RAW, I can say without question that he held my attention throughout his promo. He had a good subject to dig his teeth into, and he tore a big chunk out of it all on his own. I'm intrigued, I want to see where they can take him from here and how he'll react to the next challenge they throw at him, whether it turns out to be Edge or Shelton Benjamin. I really haven't been impressed by Garrison Cade, and considering the amount of chances he's had to do so, I don't know that he's on the brink of anything big. I'd been hoping they'd transfer Coach over to a more substantial managing role since he turned heel, but Cade's probably the last person on the roster I'd want them to pair him off with. Still, I guess a little progress is better than none at all. Cade really is worthless, though. I wasn't expecting the Matt Hardy face turn, so thumbs up on that. Lita doesn't have much of an upside as more than a valet any more, so moving her back over to Matt's side is probably the best thing they could do with her at this point. At the very least, it'll give the writers an excuse to use him again... even if it is as a punching bag. Kane's character is still swirling around the toilet bowl. Finally, the main event... which was, yet again, undeniably sweet. I'm in heaven with the kind of main events they've been pouring out for us over the last month or two... between Benoit's title reign, Benjamin's elevation and Hunter's rediscovered willingness to work a long, exciting, competitive match. I'm not sure why they passed on the HBK heel turn here, instead opting to fight the crowd yet again in an attempt to move past the '97 Survivor Series. While I'll usually agree with the sentiment, moving on from something that went down nearly seven years ago, the legitimate hatred that Canadian fans still have for Michaels (and Hebner) is the kind of stuff McMahon should be willing to KILL for. Why they're trying to shift gears when the heel of the century is stagnating as a dull, boring face at the top of the card is beyond me. So they fought against the tide again this week, trying to get HBK over as somebody that Benoit likes and respects (despite the fact they'll be facing off for the World Title in two weeks). Weird. Just weird. But anyhow, like I said, this was the next in a string of superb main events, and it left me with a nice taste in my mouth, for a change. I'm interested in seeing where they go from here, with Benoit, Edge, HBK and Benjamin all riding their own little hot streaks. I'll take my hat off to the writers this week. They had a big task to tackle this week, and met it head on. The new storylines are here, they're refreshing, they involve some new faces and they're all off on the right foot. A big step above average, despite a few minimal rough spots. I'll watch this kind of a program every week without complaint." Joining us in the second position this week is Corey Morgan, gliding his writeup into my inbox just moments after I'd finished my own; Corey: "The theme for last night's RAW was ARE YOU HAPPY NOW DAMMIT? I know I am. �I have been a fan of Chris Benoit for 14 years. �Back when I didn't even KNOW that he was Chris Benoit. �Back in 1990, he wore a mask as the Pegasus Kid, wrestling a fantastic series of matches against Jushin Liger in New Japan. � Over the years, �Benoit has only gotten better, and had always been the darling of the internet smarks who swore that nobody in history ever deserved the World Title more. �Well, Are you happy now? � Last night, RAW was live from Calgary Alberta Canada. � Chris Jericho vs. Christian Very good opening match. �Both Jericho and Christian being Canadian, were a good choice to open the show. Lots of good action here, with some new mystery guy aiding Christian in the end to get the victory over Y2J. Next up, is the new World Heavyweight Champion Chris Benoit. �The Crowd is on its feet as it has just been revealed that Benoit has also been elected Prime Minister of Canada. Good exchange between Benoit and Shawn Michaels, as it seems that we'll get to see Benoit defend the title against the Heartbreak Kid, but it's broken up by Eric Bischoff, who won't allow a singles match between the two for a couple of weeks. Molly Holly vs. Victoria Same match as the last 35 matches they've had. �Molly chokes the hell out of Victoria after she loses another wig and gets disqualified. Good promo by Randy Orton. �I knew all along that despite the buildup, Foley wouldn't go over Orton, but I really wished that I'd have been wrong. �Anyway, Orton is enjoying his victory, but it gets spoiled by Edge, who ends up attacking Orton. Evolution runs in to attack Edge, and Chris Benoit, who just returned from having singlehandedly settled all the unrest in Iraq, attempts to make the save but winds up sharing Edge's ass kicking. � Bischoff comes back out and decides that World Tag Titles will to be on the line, as Flair and Batista will fight the already wasted Edge & Benoit. � Garrison Cade v. Tajiri eh...Can't say that anything really stood out here. �Cade wins. During the break, we've just learned that Chris Benoit has just won the Nobel Peace prize. Val Venis & Lita v. Matt Hardy and Gayle Kim No match, as Kane interrupted the proceedings and chokeslammed the hell out of Venis. �Next up appeared to be Lita. �And against all possible odds, the WWE actually reactivated Matt Hardy's career by having him run in and attack Kane, valiantly putting himself between The Big Red Machine and Lita. � Hardy of course was nearly killed, but I think we may see a new babyface on the RAW roster as of next week. � Edge and Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair and Batista Benoit just makes it to the ring in time, as he has just returned from Afghanistan, having captured Osama Bin Laden during the previous match. �And if he thought that his good fortunes couldn't improve, he was in for one more surprise, as with some timely help from Shawn Michaels, Edge, and Benoit defeat Ric Flair and Batista to win the World Tag Team Championship. � Benoit now holds both the World Title and one half of the Tag Titles. �And if I were Randy Orton, I'd run like Hell. �The way Benoit's luck is running, That IC title won't be Orton's for long if Benoit decides that he wants a shot at the title. The Canadian crowd goes ballistic as two of their fellow countrymen win the Tag Titles to close out the show. �I'm completely in the dark though, as to why Shelton Benjamin isn't there. �Either way, not too bad a show. �The fans in Calgary had to be happy, as RAW started and ended with their home town (country) heroes coming out on top. � I'm interested in how they'll play out Benoit as both World Heavyweight and World Tag Team Champion. �You can probably expect Eric Bischoff to make him defend both titles during the same show, which is better than simply having him vacate one of the titles. Anyway, my score: �6.7. �The Christian/Y2J angle hits a new turn, Benoit's monster push continues and Matt Hardy is revitalized. �Not a bad night. �Till next time folks." Brett Berliner climbed into the third position; Brett: "Chris Jericho vs. Christian Good way to start, damn. �I think this could have main evented a show (considering the heat between them), but given the finish, it makes sense. This was REAL good, though, I quite liked it. �A couple of the spots, like the double underhook superplex, and the reverse Tornado DDT.. they weren't your common moves. �Either way, these two 'click' in the ring, and have put on some real nice matches, this was no different. �I question giving Bane the spot, costing the match in Christian's favor.. couldn't they give the spot to somebody who deserves it a bit more? �Tyson 'Bane' Tomko is an okay wrestling with a good look. �I won't be expecting too much from him, though, especially after he slipped on his first move ever in the company. �How funny is THAT? Holy, hell, is Benoit awesome or what? �Granted, he's certainly not along the lines of Shawn Michaels or the Rock as far as his interviews go, but since he started challenging for the world title and moved to RAW, his interviews have gotten exponentially better, there's no doubt in my mind. Honestly, though -- when did he ever get a regular chance to speak? �He's gotten into the groove lately, in my opinion, and I don't look for it to stop. �They're damn good interviews for a face champion, I think. �Shawn was, well, Shawn. �It's hard not to be on his bandwagon for the simple fact that he's SO FUCKING GOOD, in the ring and on the stick. �HBKIVLIFE, kids. I look forward to HBK/Benoit in Phoenix in two weeks -- should be REALLY REALLY good. Victoria vs. Molly Holly It's only been a month since these two feuded, and I don't really see a point to kicking it off again.. and if they aren't kicking it off again, why'd Molly freak out and choke her? �I dunno. �Not that I'm complaining about my two favorite women wrestling each other, but, yeah, you know. �Mix it up a bit, huh? Kane claiming he's going to sacrifice someone tonight doesn't particularly scare me, but he's a list of people I'd like it to be: �Sylvan Grenier, Lita, Rosey. �Thanks, Kane, you're the man now, dog! The Bischoff/Regal stuff was pretty interesting. �The reason I like having Eric around is all of these crappy backstage segments with authority figures and 'the boss' are just automatically better, because Bischoff is evil. �I have to wonder where the Regal/Eugene stuff is going. �They have to have SOME plan, right? �Regal could try to work with Eugene, he could turn heel on 'em.. I just don't think "Regal runs around and Eugene does funny stuff" is going to work for more than another month or two. �I guess we'll see. Randy!!!!!!!!! Whooo! �I like this kid a LOT more after last night.. I dunno. �I've been saying for quite some time that his persona is AWESOME, and he just needed some ring practice. �Well, he's gotten some, and now, he has been REAL good for a while. �Look at his matches with Rob Van Dam.. HBK.. now Foley. �I realize that's not a laundry list of bad workers.. in fact, it's quite a list. �However, Orton hasn't looked lost in there, he hasn't looked out of place.. he's looked ready. �In 5 years, Randy Orton will be one of the top workers in pro wrestling, and we'll be all over his nuts. �Mark my words. �Edge, though, yeah.. he probably won't be. �Something about him just rubs me the wrong way, I guess. �Maybe it's the fact that he's only an average worker, or the fact that he can't cut a promo to save his life.. I dunno. �"I DON'T LIKE YOU" is a catch phrase and a half, though. �Edge/Orton isn't really doing much for me right now, sadly. Garrison Cade vs. Tajiri If Coach announces every one of Cade's matches from now on, maybe I will like Cade more. �I already like him just fine, to be perfectly honest. �I think he's a decent to good worker, and he certainly can talk, but there's no way in hell I'd consider him exciting. �He's alright, Tajiri's pretty good, so, of course, who gets the push? �Sigh. Eugene shooting a t-shirt into Regal's crotch is spectacular. �That is all. Benoit yelling at Edge about not being believed in was FANTASTIC. �This man gets it -- intensity and desire make him a good face. �It's really, really hard to be a babyface, I know, but Benoit might be the best one at it in a LONG time. Lita & Val Venis vs. Gail Kim & Matt Hardy Way to make Matt NOT look like a bitch! �Although I'm ok with the face turn and the reuniting with Lita, he can't feud with Kane. �Kane is just not getting any sort of push these days, and if the two feud, NEITHER is going to get over. �I'll reserve judgement until next week. Hirohito, huh? �If it's Kenzo Suzuki... wack. �He's not particularly good, by the way, just in case you were wondering. Chris Benoit & Edge vs. Batista & Ric Flair 2 weeks in a row, kids! �This was a damn fine main event, and even though I don't particularly LIKE Batista on his own.. this tag team with Flair is starting to work, it really is. �The last few times they've been put in the ring, they've pulled out a great match, and although their competition wasn't too shabby, man, I'm beginning to like them together. �Of course, they pull the belts off of them right after that.. but I digress, I really do. �Chris Benoit can't have this tag team title for long, as it'll take away from his world title holding, but we'll see. �Not too much else to say except GOOD STUFF. Highlights: Great main event, great opening match and some real nice segments involving Chris Benoit make me a happy man. Lowlights: Nothing overtly bad, except Matt Hardy being fed to Kane, and Bane falling on his ass! The Verdict: An overall good show that makes me happy to be a wrestling fan." Here to finish off this week's post is Lauren C.; Lauren: "Raw started off on a good note, with a nice, long match between Chris Jericho and Christian, the first of two Wrestlemania rematches on the episode. It was a very good match (nothing special, but Jericho is adapting well to his babyface role), but the interference ending introduced yet another uncharismatic big man onto the active roster. On the bright side, I never have to wonder again what Christopher Daniels would look like if WWE signed him, pumped him full of steroids for five years, and taught him to be boring and clumsy. �Tyson Tomco� sounds about as badass of a name as �Matt Morgan.� I can barely contain my excitement to see what Tyson Tomco does next week. Feel the sarcasm, folks. Chris Benoit gave a heartfelt promo in the center of the ring. Benoit gets flak for his mic work (sometimes rightfully so), but I thought he was great tonight. His words sounded real, probably because they were real, and they gave legitimacy to his career�which by extension, gives legitimacy to pro wrestling as a whole. The Stu Hart tribute was incredibly touching, and the crowd chanting �Stu� and �Benoit� simultaneously showed the Calgary crowd�s appreciation for Benoit carrying on that legacy. Also a nice touch for Benoit to remind everybody that he�s the only man to ever make Triple H tap out. The Shawn Michaels stuff was nothing too special or earth-shattering. Bischoff was, well, Bischoff. Johnny Nitro has major humor potential (not to mention great hair!), but he needs more to do. When Bischoff postponed the Benoit/Michaels match and had Johnny bust out the Palm Pilot to find out where that Raw will be held, I assumed it meant it was going to be someplace significant. Did Phoenix become some wrestling hotbed and I missed it? That was a total reach so Johnny would have something to do besides stand next to Bischoff and flip his pretty hair. Second Wrestlemania rematch of the night as Victoria comes out to defend her title against Molly Holly. Vicki is playing the super-happy-peppy-babyface now. She solicits kisses from small children at ringside. Somebody call Perverted Justice! Victoria seems over, and it�s great to see her busting out the standing moonsault. The match was cut too short, but Molly FLIPPING OUT after getting her wig ripped off was excellent. I�d love to see her continue to choke out everyone in her path. Go Samoa Molly! Evolution arrives in a white stretch limo and are confronted by Raw�s answer to Josh Matthews. Why are all the backstage interviewers metrosexuals? Triple H isn�t happy that Benoit vs. Michaels has been signed for Raw in two weeks. �That�s my match.� No, not another Triple Threat, please. It would be just like WWE to beat that into the ground just because it worked out well a couple of times. In an EXTREME CLOSE UP promo, Kane says that he�s become �weak� because he started showing human compassion. Funny, I thought he had become weak because the booking team is inept. Oh well. Kane promises a sacrifice. OOOOOOH, spooky. On one hand, Kane could really use some fire (no pun intended), but on the other hand, this promo was goofy as hell. Johnny Nitro tells Bischoff he�s worried about Kane. Blah blah blah. OK, this is the part of the show that�s making up for the fact that it opened with a 15 minute match. William Regal says that he can�t be Eugene�s glorified babysitter anymore. Turns out Eugene is missing. Ah, the mentally challenged fellow on the loose, that�s a stock comedy scenario if I�ve ever heard one. Bischoff threatens a Regal vs. Kane match if Regal doesn�t find Eugene. You know, with Regal�s excellent facials, he might be a good opponent to make Kane look like a credible monster again if that match ever comes to fruition. Speaking of facials, Randy Orton�s face told the tale of his brutal hardcore match with Mick Foley the previous night. The little bandages over his scarred-up forehead was a much better look than the strip of white tape that Triple H has been seen sporting after many a PPV. This promo was nothing special (and at this point I was really itching to see some wrestling again), but it was solid and showed that Orton is definitely getting better on the mic. There were even �Randy� chants in the crowd. Weird-ass Canadians. I was annoyed when Edge interrupted�was I enjoying Orton that much, or was I just annoyed that I would have to see the stupid bowlegged dance that Edge does on the stage. I would so much rather see Shelton Benjamin right now. Edge says that he had been sitting home for 14 months watching Orton run his mouth. Um, for how much of that time was Orton himself out with injury? Edge annoys me. Where�s Shelton? Dammit! Evolution showed up and delivered a beating to Edge, and then to Benoit who came out to make the save. Bischoff set up tonight�s main event with Batista and Flair defending the tag titles (they still have those?) against Edge and Benoit. Garrison Cade vs. Tajiri was an OK 5-minute match, even though Coach was distractingly awful on commentary (and, sadly, tonight he was not dressed like Homicide). Cade�s look just screams �dimwitted pretty boy,� yet they have him playing a short-tempered badass? Now I know where Eugene ran off to�he joined the writing staff. Ah, turns out Eugene�s in the ring with the t-shirt gun. It�s about time they used the t-shirt gun on TV, since it gets more crowd reaction than most of the wrestlers. I am ashamed to say that I laughed maniacally when Eugene shot Regal in the groin with it. Yeah, anyone could see that coming, but Regal�s facial expression and the ensuing �Eugene� chants ruled. I still don�t know where they�re going with this Eugene character, but he could possibly get over by �outsmarting� Regal at every opportunity. Benoit pumps up Edge backstage for their tag match. Wasn�t Benoit Edge�s tag partner at some point on Smackdown? I can barely remember, considering Edge has been paired with everybody under the sun. If the verdict is that he can�t hang as a singles wrestler, why not just give him a partner that can form, you know, a permanent legit tag team? Lord knows WWE needs tag teams right now. Oh joy. A mixed tag match featuring Lita and Gail Kim. I think this turned out the best possible way it could have when Kane interrupted things. You know what annoys me? J.R. saying, �what the? Who the hell is that?� when Kane�s music and pyro go off. Genius. Lita was Kane�s sacrifice? That�s not a sacrifice, that�s called �getting rid of dead weight.� Matt Hardy apparently turned face by coming to Lita�s aid. Aaaargh. He�s so much better as a heel, and they never even gave him a chance to get over with it. The main event was another enjoyable match. It got a good amount of time, told a nice story, and let each wrestler involved do what they do best (yes, that WAS a not-so-subtle knock on Edge). Benoit is the fucking man. Him and Edge winning the tag straps legitimately surprised me, which doesn�t happen too often watching wrestling these days. As I watched Benoit hold up his two title belts, I just smiled and repeatedly said �oh my God� in disbelief. It�s unreal to me that he�s getting this kind of push right now. I joked on the Oratory forums �how long till the net fans turn on Benoit for being overpushed?� but I don�t think that will happen. Benoit�s years of dedication to the business and his work in the ring speaks for itself as to how deserving he is of this glory. To bring it all home, Raw was a very mixed bag this week. On one hand, it was great to see the show bookended by two solid 15-minute+ matches. Unfortunately, the pacing in between was really shitty, with Molly vs. Victoria being super-short, the mixed tag match not happening at all (though I think that was a good thing), and tons of non-wrestling segments in a row. I enjoyed Benoit and Orton�s promos, but there ended up being way too much time when I was waiting for there to be a damn match. There was a good deal tonight that set up future storylines, but none of them seem particularly promising. Tyson Tomco, or whatever his name is, seems like just another generic big dude (and he�s with Christian? Huh?). Cade and Coach is a huge mismatch, in my opinion. It�s going to take a lot more than attacking Val Venis and Lita to get Kane�s �monster� image back in a lot of people�s eyes. Shelton Benjamin > Edge in terms of possible IC Title contenders, and he wrestled on Heat this week why? The ending to the main event was a nice boost that I think caused a lot of people to overrate the show. For me, the title change at the end was just enough to bring it above average." The forums were doing that forbidden tango yet again last night, as our regular roster of rasslin' based dance partners were right there to stamp, strut, pound and pirouette their way through this week's regular airing of WWE Monday Night RAW. Since I've always been one to take the bull by the horns when there's no chance I'll catch any flack for doing so, I've once again taken the initiative this week, reading every single word of the weekly thread's gargantuan, nearly five hundred post lifespan, clipped out the good parts and pasted them all together here in what's become known as the ongoing "...but what did the Forums think??" portion of our juvenile delinquency program. If you think you've got what it takes to make the cut and want to help out with next week's episode of RAW, just head to the forums. We've always got a thread up and running, immediately prior to, during and up to a day after RAW's 9PM east-coast broadcast. Given about twenty hours to cool, I'll crack open that thread, read every last post with a furious vengeance and print the best of the best right here in the epic pages of the RRC. I'll then average the combined scores of each forum visitor and include that average as a standalone grade in the RRC, right alongside the scores of Brett, Lauren, Corey, Adam, Samir and myself. As a fine man once said, somewhere in the United States of America... it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it. Actually, I've no idea if the guy who said that was fine in even the most basic sense of the word, nor that he was an American on his home soil when he uttered it. I also have no desire to check my facts. Enough lollygaggin'. Let's get on with your portion of the show. BEHOLD! --On Jericho / Christian-- Canadian Hitman: So Jericho is from Winnitoba so I guess Christian and Trish are from Torontario? Cash Melville: Christian can take a damn bulldog. Mitch Nickelson: All he had to do was kick Jericho. Too bad, young one. Mattartzyeah: Tyson Tomco? That is the worst name ever. Reminds me of Tonka trucks. Colin: I've heard nothing of him, but he's got a good look, which probably means he's a shitty wrestler --On Benoit / Michaels-- Mattartzyeah: This is probably the best non-taped interview i've ever seen from Benoit. Canadian Hitman: Palm Pilot = ratings! --On the Women's Match-- Mattartzyeah: Happy face victoria is still hot, but seems to be playing the "ivory" charactor. As in, she has no charactor. fuzzybunny566: FINALLY molly gets over the wig-less fear --On Kane's New Direction-- Mattartzyeah: Kane is going to be a monster again.......for the next 3 weeks. Then they will kill his charactor...again. BClev: Seriously, that was fucking awesome.... now watch him go wrestle rosey or something. Arach: My guess, after that awesome promo they kill Kane's character again by making Eugene his best friend. "You're the only one who understands me Eugene" "Ewwgeeene's fwiend!" bestlurker: Remember - Kane = "undertaker's brother." Matt = "Jeff's brother." Undertaker vs. Jeff over a year ago in a ladder match. Undertaker vs. Jeff = Kane vs. Matt in Vince's eyes. TheBDC: Matt Hardy should heel the hell out of Lita next week for not getting out of the ring. Bitch was told twice, once by Val, and then by Matt, and she still cowered in the ring. I was begging for Kane to squash her anyway. Matt Dizzy: Matt Hardy should heel the hell out of Lita next week for not getting out of the ring. Bitch was told twice, once by Val, and then by Matt, and she still cowered in the ring. I was begging for Kane to squash her anyway. --On Randy Orton / Edge-- fuzzybunny566: randy's forehead looks freaking cool as hell! frankenstein would job to orton! Canadian Hitman: Edge looks like he's squuezing a shit out. MixMastaMike: Edge could beat Randy with the cast, it'd be like a beating from his father. Mitch Nickelson: Least boring Evolution beat down in months. --On the Main Event-- Mattartzyeah: This is why Batista related parts of matches should be kept during the commercials. smashmouth: Batista = Rest Hold. Rifkin: So when does Chris Benoit get his push? BClev: Next week Benoit takes the IC title from Orton and he officially becomes the one man evolution. --In General-- Canadian Hitman: Cade was trained by HBK? Did he graduate? Stryfe: DRILL HIM! DRILL HIM IN THE BALLS. Mattartzyeah: maybe face hardy can win a match. Wow. That's a VERY impressive turnaround for RAW, which had seen its scores slide considerably in the weeks leading up to WrestleMania, all the way up to last week's pre-PPV extravaganza. In just two weeks, the show's accumulated forum scores have jumped from a paltry 5.5 all the way up to this week's astronomical 8.1. I honestly can't recall a show ever receiving that kind of a rating from the forum community in the past, so whatever the writing team's been smoking lately... well, I hope they bought a pretty big stash. Out of forty-three voting individuals in this week's thread, not a single soul could bear to grant the show anything below the level of five. Seriously. The communtiy was in complete agreement when they called this show well above average, as only four voters dared to grade this on the level of five or six. Seven brave creatures even went so far as to say they've NEVER seen a better show than this, and graded it worthy of the almighty, life-altering score of ten. In short, the forums whole-heartedly enjoyed this episode. And that's all I've got for ya. On behalf of my regular contributors; Mr. Samir, Ms. C, Papa Berliner, Captain Morgan and Snr. Karabel, I'm Dr. drqshadow saying thanks for joining in once again, keep your head up and steer clear of hard liquor in the morning. If you're bored, you've read all the columns on the main page, the forums aren't keeping you entertained and you still need something to do, why not check out what the RRC was doing this time last year? Lots of good stuff in there, you know, and you might just stumble upon a worthwhile storyline, gimmick or angle you'd forgotten about over the last twelve months. I'm just here to help. As always, don't you dare leave this room until Mr. CALC.EXE has finished averaging everybody's scores out and the show has cruised to a full and complete stop. Keep all arms and legs inside the craft at all times, and I'll see you in seven.  |
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