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MMAR: #7: UFC 41: Onslaught RRC: 04/19/04 AMV: #152: Backlash 2004 - Counterpoint RCC Spotlight: Group Column: Changing Days RCC Spotlight: Rival Schools #13, WWE Backlash 2004
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Standing At The Edge: Listen, You Pencil Neck Geeks
by: Chris Brosnahan on: 4/22/2004 9:12 pm est  'The library. It's where the books live!' Willow Rosenburg. 'Listen, You Pencil Neck Geeks' by 'Classy' Freddie Blassie. I saw this in a bookshop in Stockport. I hadn't even been aware it was out in the UK. I happened to have some spare cash on me, and was planning on buying 'Watchmen', when I spotted that they had a decent wrestling section. I wandered over, and saw this, agonised over which to buy for a while, before giving up and buying both. Sometimes the easiest compromises are the best. Judging a book by its cover. The cover is done in the style of an old wrestling poster. Faded brown, stars on either sides of the names...you get the idea. It's not hugely eyecatching, but neither is it horrible. It's a big improvement on the 'big closeup of grinning wrestler' that they seem to have favoured recently, with Jerry Lawler, Hulk Hogan, and Steve Austin. Blassie is pictured wearing the title on the cover, grimacing. It looks like something out of the fifties, and that's the effect they're going for. Why was I interested? I don't know much about Freddie Blassie. In fact, I knew nearly nothing about his career whatsoever. My knowledge of American wrestling pretty much stops at Bob Backlund, and my knowledge of wrestling prior to that is confined to British wrestling. Usually, with wrestling books, I'm reading about an era I already know, so to learn about an era that I knew nothing about seemed like an attractive prospect. Plus, I know that Blassie is regarded as a kind of deity amongst American wrestling fans, and I vaguely knew about him being known as 'Vampire', thanks to the Apter mags. Basically, I bought this for educational wrestling reasons. It seemed different to most autobiographies. Plus, according to the cover, there is a 'special' introduction - not just any introduction, mind you! A 'Special' introduction! - by Vince McMahon. It reminded me that Blassie and Vinny were very close - and that's a reason in itself to read it. How many books and autobiographies are written by people that consider Vince a friend? Not a good employer, not a relation, not a wrestling genius...but as one of their closest friends? Vince does acknowledge in the opening that it's partly a story of his family as well, and it's not the typical McMahon ego talking when he says that. So How Was The Book? Well, to answer the first question, it was ghostwritten (by Keith Elliot Greenberg....and what a fantastic surname). It seems pretty obvious that it was written by sitting down on a regular basis with Freddie, and just letting him reminisce - then editing down, and adding in some background, dates and details. A lot of people get put off by the idea of ghostwritten autobiographies,but I'm not. Yes, if the person involved is a good writer then I prefer the book to be written by them, but I think for some celebrities, it's best not. Otherwise David Beckhams autobiography would have been written in blue crayon, and read (in its entirety) 'I played football very good, and my wife has nice boobies. I like football and boobies'. I doubt that Blassie was a good writer, but I don't doubt that he was a good story-teller, and that's the reason behind a ghostwriter. Perfectly good decision in my mind, and it certainly helps the book. Greenberg isn't a terrible writer, so it all flows pretty nicely. I'll point out here that my review style isn't to give a 'play-by-play' style review, since if I did that, I'd basically save you the trouble of reading the book, and I don't want to do that. What I want to do is to give you the highlights, and my opinions on the book, instead. If I don't recommend the book, then I don't suggest you buy it - if I do, then I don't want to spoil the book for you. If you feel I did spoil it anyway, then apologies. The first part of the book is - as would be expected - devoted to Blassie and his family. He speaks with unreserved venom about his wife-abusing father, who he obviously hates, and with a lot of tenderness and love about his mother, and his step-father. It's always interesting to see and hear where somebody came from, but it's always boring if it is dwelt upon. Luckily, the book doesn't fall into this trap, pretty much hitting the balance right. It then moves onto his early wrestling experiences, and army experiences. The most interesting parts of these sections of the book are him talking about choosing between a regular job, or wrestling, at a time when it was still more of a carnival than anything else, and also the parts where he talks about his early experiences as a jobber. Blassie wasn't stupid (although dropped out of high school - a fact he lied about until now, which he was obviously shamed by. He knows there were reasons for it, but you get the feeling he would have loved to have gotten better educated), and he knew that it wasn't totally for real, however it took a long time until he was allowed to be part of the inside world, and not kayfabed. This meant that a lot of his earlier fights incorporated a lot of shooting, and it wasn't until one of the wrestlers trusted him enough to sit him down and tell him that he was accepted into the group. Smartly, he chose not to push for it, reasoning that he would be told when he was ready. That’s such a huge difference from now, that it’s difficult to imagine a time when kayfabe was so hugely protected. Eventually, he began to get a push - because the promoter saw that he had 'conceit', and he was friends with a lot of the wrestlers. He quickly became a heel, and from there into one of the longest running headliners wrestling has seen. He feuded with Sammartino, with Pedro Morales...he feuded with every big name of the time. I'm not going to go into detail, because I would actually recommend reading this. I will talk about some other interesting points raised in the book though. Blassie states outright that the wrestlers these days are tougher than in his day. As he puts it - you don't get tougher than an olympic medallist. Whether this is because he genuinely believes it (and there's certainly a convincing argument), or because this is, after all, a WWE book, and it wouldn't do to say that todays wrestlers are a bunch of pansies, is up to the reader, really. He also points out another difference, which is that a lot of wrestlers today have got a decent education, and a lot have the potential to get white collar jobs if the wrestling thing fell through, whereas in his day, the only other option was mining, or heavy lifting work. It's an interesting social difference, more than anything else. This said, the abuse that wrestlers were expected to deal with was horrific compared to today. Blassie not only got stabbed multiple times, but he also got doused with acid once (Seriously!). Also, the fans often came close to rioting, and he once had to hide out in Sammartino’s dressing room in order not to be lynched. He points out that security personnel in those days were worthless – they didn’t get paid enough to interfere. Especially not, for example, if they were Italian, and Blassie was facing Sammartino…. Blassie is also obsessed with his penis. He goes on for nearly a page extolling the virtues of some kind of an erection cream he found as a youngster, and talks about it in detail - and also introduced his son to it. Blassie was a ladies man, definitely, and he took full advantage, which ended up destroying his first marriage, and as a result of this two of his kids don't speak to him anymore. This leads into one of the more fascinating parts of Blassies character, which is that he certainly began to confuse himself with his character...not being sure where he ended, and where his character began. This obviously hasn't completely gone, because he often comes across as pigheaded and arrogant - traits which he obviously had, but were exaggerated by his character. In an early point, he expresses surprise that he hasn't been asked to write an autobiography before, since he's obviously more interesting than most people. I don't think he was joking either. Blassie has very strong beliefs though. You’re either with him or against him. He doesn’t like drinkers or drug abusers either. This dates back (once again) to his father. There is one extremely funny bit of juxtaposition, when Blassie extensively badmouths a promoter, followed by a quote from the promoter in question, who talks about how close friends he and Blassie are. A slightly cruel gag by the co-writer, but it’s extremely funny. Also funny are Blassie’s memories of Andre the Giant. Now, Andre was as much a practical joker as any of the boys, and had a particular fondness for getting into enclosed areas with other people…and then farting. Now, let yourself remember the size of Andre. Now, imagine just how much he ate. You get where I’m going with this? And he wouldn’t do this softly, and quietly, snigger, he’d do it loudly and then laugh at everyone else. I’m not usually a fan of fart gags, but it’s funny because it’s Andre. Now, there are criticisms for the book as well. You may remember in the paperback edition of ‘Foley is Good’, Foley said that he was advised not to use his book to ‘set the record straight’, and badmouth his enemies. Either Freddie was never given that advice, or he decided that if they were dead, it didn’t matter. This comes across as making him seem extremely bitter. Now, that said, he came across as a quite bitter man, so at least it’s accurate, but at the same time, it’s disconcerting to realise, about halfway through the book that you don’t actually like the subject. As a wrestler, yes…as an entertainer, yes…as a storyteller, yes. But from what he says, as a person? It’s difficult. Yes, he sometimes does likeable things, and the story of how he met his third wife is charming, but the four lines he dedicates to his second wife offset it. There’s a lot of venom in Freddie Blassie, and he knows it. So, the question becomes ‘why read an autobiography of someone who is so dislikeable?’ The answer is simple. Freddie Blassie loves wrestling. He’s dedicated his entire life to it, and gone from the lows of having guys beat the crap out of him, and call it ‘teaching him the ropes’, and he’s managed Muhammad Ali, and launched Regis Philbin’s career. He’s been a monster and a hero, and even an inspiration. But overall, it’s the story of someone that loves wrestling, and that’s reason enough to recommend it. He put wrestling before everything in his life, sacrificing his health, his first marriage, and even his kids to wrestling. Now that’s love. And that’s why it’s fascinating, because any time someone who has genuine passion for what he does tells his story, it’s always fascinating. It’s also fascinating as a history lesson. If you don’t know anything about wrestling pre-Hogan, then I whole-heartedly recommend picking this book up. It’s a fascinating time, full of brutality and viciousness, and the story essentially ends when Vinny Macs story begins, and it’s an era that doesn’t deserve to be forgotten. Finally, it’s interesting for another reason. It really is the story of the McMahon family. Blassie first made worked with Jess McMahon, then his son Vince, then his Grandson Vincent Kennedy. And out of all three, the one he got on best with was Vince Jr. He defends Vince passionately – and in doing so finally gives a point of view about Vince’s destruction of the territories, which is often overlooked in favour of the Vince=Evil bandwagon, and points out that Vince was willing to pay the talent what they deserved, and didn’t join with a bunch of other promoters to blackball anyone who pissed off one promoter. Reading this book leaves me coming away feeling like I understand Vince McMahon a little better – and since Vince McMahon remains the biggest enigma in wrestling, that’s a reason in itself to read it. As a separate point, I’ll mention that the day I finished reading this book, I watched Backlash. The first match was Ric Flair vs Shelton Benjamin. This book put me in such a nostalgic mood that I just watched that match with a big sloppy grin over my face, because Ric loves the business in the same way Freddie did. That’s the love that keeps me watching, and that love is what kept me enjoying this book, from the beginning, through to the story of Gorgeous George and his death, through to the afterword where Freddie’s death is talked about. Overall, it’s not a great book, but it certainly is a fascinating one. As such, I would unhesitatingly recommend it to anyone that wants to learn more about the wrestling business, and its history. If you know about the history, you'll probably know a bit about Blassie anyway, so you'll still probably want to pick it up. So I've kind of wasted my time really, reviewing it, since I could have just written 'Book good, go buy'. Sigh. As far as the obligatory scale goes, it's better than the Hardy Boyz book, and more interesting than the Jerry Lawler book, but still not as good as Foleys. It's very different though, and those three books would make a hell of a start to a collection. Go buy, go enjoy, and go feel nostalgic. (Thanks to John C and co for the hiring, and Dr Lindermans for the banner, incidentally) MSN:christopherbrosnahan AIM: chrisbrosnahan Sites I write for: www.thewrestlingchannel.tv oratory.rajah.com www.earth-2.net |
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