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JMO: Summerslam 2005 From the Nosebleed section JMO: SATURDAY NIGHT'S MAIN EVENT REVIEW - 1/2/88 RRC: 08/22/05 TJR: WWE Summerslam Recap and Analysis When Worlds Collide: Summerslam 2005
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SmackDown Review: Smackdown Grades for 08/25/05
by: Oratory Television Council on: 8/27/2005 12:51 pm est  Matt Seagull oratorbirdman@gmail.com Sorry for not doing a recap last week. I actually watched last week's show, and I said to myself, "I don't even want to review this crap!" And since I've been so consistent, John let me off the hook. But I actually want to get down and dirty this week, because the show was pretty good. Segment 1: Randy Orton vs. Hardcore Holly I enjoyed this match a lot. I don't mind it when they give you one-on-one matches that have a decent amount of length. Orton's heel maneurisms were off the chart. I like how they revolved the match around Holly's chops and trying to get Orton into the Alabama Slam. I guess Holly might be good for something after all. So now it's "Friday Night Smackdown" huh? We all knew it was coming, but now it's official. Smackdown's going to have even less viewers than they already had. Because honestly, who stays in on a Friday Night? ::looks around:: I'm glad they announced a big match to counteract them not having a PPV in September. They should try and make it a mini PPV show by also signing a U.S. title match featuring Benoit, and the eventual MNM vs. LOD Tag title rematch. Maybe even include the blowoff to Eddie/Rey. Yeah, that's the ticket. Segment Grade: B+ Segment 2: The Peep Show Oooh! Christian's wearing an awesome Captain Charisma shirt! I'd like to buy it. But oh wait, I can't, becuase they took it off Shopzone. They probably thought it wouldn't sell. TEDDY LONG still has a shirt but they remove Christian's? What a joke. They tease more dissention between Booker and Sharmell, and I couldn't really care less. I'm just glad Christian's back to being a sort of tweener. I have no problems with Face Christian as long as he keeps up his attitude which has made him so likable. Mexicools come out again, and this sets up a match for later. Segment Grade: B- Segment 3: Heidenreich vs. Johnny Nitro Why WWE would want to turn a hottie into an uggo like they did with mole girl is beyond me. I didn't really pay attention to this match, but at least it's furthering the story where the two teams are going to have to meet in a rematch, which should probably air on the first Friday Smackdown. Segment Grade: C+ Semgent 4: Filler n shit Benoit brings the awesome by making and drinking a cup of coffee in the time it took for him to beat Orlando Jordan for the U.S. Title at Summerslam. Folks, that's comedy. Bring me more of that. Then JBL starts yelling at OJ and I drown him out by blaring my music. It's much better to watch like that. Segment Grade: B Segment 5: Mexicools vs. Booker T and Christian I don't know what they're talking about with the rumor that the high flying stuff has to be cut out. I know my eyes aren't deceiving me when I saw Super Crazy do a moonsault from the top rope. Let London do the SSP, dammit! This match was pretty good. All the matches tonight (save the one preceding this) were pretty good. Christian walks out on Booker. Please don't extend this storyline. I want a Christian/Benoit program. Segment Grade: B- Segment 6: MORE filler? Smackdown doesn't need 2 filler segments. Lame. Even if the Ortons are the shit. Undertaker retirement tease? Please let it happen! Segment Grade: C- Segment 7: Lingerie Pillow Fight Looks like they're rehashing the old ECW angle with "The Network." But this guy has NOTHING on Cyrus. And Teddy Long really doesn't have the charisma Paul Heyman does. Anyway, what's the point of bringing Stacy and Christy over to Smackdown if they're not allowed to prance around in underwear? Segment Grade: D Segment 8: Ken Kennedy vs. Funaki I like Kennedy's shtick. I've seen it on Velocity. Only problem is this was the EXACT SAME INTRO AND MATCH he had on Velocity two weeks ago with Funaki. Apparently Smackdown writers don't believe that anybody watches Velocity, even though it's been a great show lately. I will add, though, and Kennedy's finishing move is SICK! Segment Grade: C Segments 9-10: JBL, Orlando Jordan and Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio and Batista I loved this match. Loved, loved, loved it. It doesn't hurt that I'm a big mark for six man tags. But I loved all the underlying storylines from Summerslam tieing into this match. I loved how everybody was injured and selling their injuries (except Benoit of course). When Eddie gave Rey a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, he started to grab his leg like somebody stabbed him with a knife. It was excellent. Nice hot finish too with all the faces hitting OJ with their finishers. I'd give this match ***1/4. Segment Grade: A Top 10. Why? Because I said so! World Champion: Batista 1. JBL 2. Rey Mysterio 3. U.S. Champion Chris Benoit 4. Randy Orton 5. Eddie Guerrero 6. Undertaker 7. The Mexicools 8. Christian 9. Booker T 10. Ken Kennedy Final Thoughts: This was a very solid episode of Smackdown. A great opening match, a good tag match, a solid Smackdown debut and an awesome main event all highlight this show. But the filler stuff (with the very notable exception of Benoit drinking coffee) was a little lacking in the quality department. This network angle can only end badly. I really think they should use next week to build to the first Friday Smackdown and make it a mini PPV card. Smackdown needs people to tune in and watch, and loading the card will do just that. 6 Corey Morgan gnagus@comcast.net Those of you familiar with my work know that I'm a sucker for the old school stars, so you can imagine my happiness at seeing the "Ace", Cowboy Bob Orton in the ring leading the Randy Orton cheering section. This of course leads right into.... Randy Orton vs. Hardcore Holly This was a pretty solid match that did everything it was supposed to. It gave Orton a decent opponent to showcase his talents with, while establishing the role of Orton's Dad, who will hopefully be sticking around. A Benoit/Orton feud would look pretty good in the near future as far as I'm concerned. We were introduced tonight to some representative from "The Network". Not too sure how that one will play out. I wasn't too impressed with what I saw of that tonight, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't have potential. Booker T and Sharmell are the guests on the Peep Show this evening. After the usual back & forth jawing between Booker and Christian, we get Sharmell putting her man on the spot and telling him that he needed to start looking out for himself. Wow, can you see where this one is going? Anyway, we get the Mexicools running in and setting up a match with Christian and Booker T when Juvi knocks Sharmell down. Johnny Nitro, with Joey Mercury & Melina, vs. Heidenreich Well, this one was about as good as you can expect, considering Heidenreich was in it. I'm glad that Animal came back, because he's the only thing keeping Heidenreich going. A tag team covers Heidey's flaws perfectly, as he's only in the ring for half of the match now. And when your matches are less than 2 minutes long, that's even better. Chris Benoit makes come coffee in a race against a replay of his US Title victory match against OJ at Summerslam. I'm glad they did this, because I was at Summerslam live and missed the damn match because I was stuck in line getting food. All I know is that I heard the bell, the crowd go ballistic and someone announce that Benoit was the new United States Champion. JBL is sort of growing on me now that he isn't the champion. I don't have a personal problem with JBL, as he's the same man he was when he was one half of the APA and I liked him a lot then. I just wasn't too fond of the new JBL gimmick. Anyway, I loved his rant on Orlando Jordan about losing so quickly to Benoit at Summerslam. Christian & Booker T, with Sharmell, vs. Super Crazy & Psicosis, with Juventud Well, you could probably see Christian lwalking out on Booker T a mile away. Once again though, Booker loses a match as a result of his non-wrestling wife getting in the middle of things. Looks like Sharmell's words are going to come back to haunt her, as you just know that Booker is going to tell her that he's going to take her advice and look out for himself. And in the process, tell here to 'Get to steppin'. Not sure if it'll mean a heel turn for Booker, but anything that'll get him back in the spotlight. I figure though, that with the US and World Titles both being held by babyfaces, Smackdown could use a few big time heels to challenge them. Teddy Long introduces Stacey Keibler and Christy Hemme. Oh joy.... Ken Kennedy vs. Sho Funaki Not sure what to make of this guy, but Kennedy has a sick finisher. Batista, Rey Mysterio & Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero, John Bradshaw Layfield & Orlando Jordan This was a good match to end the program on. They took the 3 biggest babyfaces and their opponents from Summerslam and did a good job of putting some closure on all 3 feuds. It got the babyfaces over even further, and everyone went home happy. Except possibly Orlando Jordan. I haven't watched Smackdown in a long time, but while I'm living out of a hotel, and we have UPN, I figured that I might as well check out the show. I was more impressed than what I've been seeing lately on RAW. Good show here. Smackdown is kicking off the next set of storylines to go into the fall season. 7.5 Leon Thomas trophar@lycos.com Short review this week. I'm so tired, so all my comedy bits and semi-deep thoughts are out to lunch. --Randy Orton vs. Hardcore Holly- "Cowboy" Bob Orton and son Randy are in the ring. Looks like Bob joining forces with Randy wasn't just for Summerslam. Maybe this will be a long-term deal. Then again, maybe Randy will just RKO his father to add another check to his t-shirt. Orton (the young one) faces Hardcore Holly tonight. Oh, I'm sorry. How silly of me. "Alabama Slamma" Hardcore Holly. That Alabama Slamma is a bad mamma jamma who likes rack of lamma cooked with Pamma. The match itself is pretty good. Slow build that rises at perfect speed towards the exciting conclusion. Orton wins with a wee bit of help from his father. --Palmer Cannon and Teddy Long Backstage-- Mr. Cannon introduces himself to GM Theodore Long. It seems Cannon works for UPN (referred to only as "the network") and is here as a consultant. Long and Cannon seem cordial at first. Let's see how long that lasts. --The Peep Show-- Christian's guests tonight are Booker T and Sharmell. Christian jokes around about Booker's lack of accomplishments in WWE in comparison to being a five time WCW Champion. Sharmell tells Book that Christian might have a point. Oh, Sharmell. You're sooo going heel. Speaking of heels, the Mexicools rush the ring, fight Booker and Christian for no reason, and are eventually fought off. Christian and Book on the same page. This sets up a tag match later tonight. --MNM vs. LOD-- Jillian brings out MNM. This is your basic MNM match. Not bad but nothing special. This is not your basic LOD match simply because it wasn't a jobber squash. MNM uses a chair and the match is thrown out. --Chris Benoit's Coffee Break-- Benoit asks for a tape of the twenty-five second match against Orlando Jordan to be played. As it runs, Benoit makes a cup of coffee in less time than it takes for OJ to tap. Best segment of Smackdown and not just because it had our Lord and Savior Chris Benoit in it. Meanwhile, JBL degrades OJ. Next... --Christian/Booker T vs. Super Crazy/Psicosis-- I wonder when the Mexicools are actually going to feud with other cruiserweights and help the division. Hmm. Anyway, decent little match. Christian left Booker hanging at the pinfall. Captain Chrarisma must have had another photo shoot for Tiger Beat. Are they really going for Booker vs. Christian at the next Smackdown PPV? I hope not. Enough is enough. --The Ortons-- Cowboy Bob and Randy crack on Undertaker and, in the same breath, plug the new 'Taker DVD set. This segment can lick me sideways. --The Network Controls Smackdown-- Teddy Long sets up a pillow fight between new Smackdown acquisitions Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler. Palmer Cannon takes control, tells everyone the network doesn't think this is right for the demographic and cancels the "match." Good call. It's fun when I legit agree with the heel. --Funaki vs. Ken Kennedy.....Kennedy-- Mr. Kennedy and Funaki have a Velocity rematch. Kennedy is seriously growing on me with his ring announcer shtick. The match is nothing special. Kennedy wins via his yet-to-be-named finisher. --Batista/Benoit/Mysterio vs. Guerrero/Jordan/Bradshaw-- Nice six-man tag team main event. Always good to see Benoit and Guerrero in the same ring. Batista furthers his feud with Bradshaw by picking up the win against his Chief of Staff Orlando Jordan. OJ can't catch a break. This will lead us to Bradshaw vs. Batista III. WWE has only rarely switched the big titles on free TV after doing it so many times during the Monday Night Wars. However, I get this funny feeling that JBL is taking the belt. --Final Grade-- Ohh.......six. Want to hear my deep, highly-detailed reasoning? Yeah. I would too... 6 THE NUMBERS - By John C. The overall grade for this week’s show is… 6.5Good score that's a full point above the average. Last week: 5.5 2005 SD Average: 5.27 (+0.04) 2005 SD High: 7.35 (April 28) 2005 SD Low: 1.13 (May 19) All-Time Highest Smackdown Grade: 9.58 (September 18, 2003) All-Time Lowest Smackdown Grade: 0.83 (May 6, 2004) THE NUMBERS – READER’S TELEVISION COUNCIL According to Oratory readers in the forums the grade for this week’s show as of 12pmET Saturday is… 5.76That's 0.74 lower than what the OTC gave it. Last week: 5.53 Low Score All-Time: 2.31 (May 6, 2004) High Score All-Time: 8.79 (September 18, 2003) Oratory Forums Reader Comments by Bob "bestlurker Davis There is a limitless variety of fast things in this world. From a gazelle to a world-record sprinter, from a Lamborghini Countach to a Ferrari Testarosa, the world has become infatuated with speed. In fact, the infatuation with speed has almost come to the point where it is better to spend less time with a partner in the throws of passion than it is to take the time to caress them lovingly; which is good news for Canadian Hitman, the ultimate speed demon. However, despite the world’s infatuation with speed, our fine folks over at the Smackdown thread still slow down and savor their favorite Thursday night wrestling program. With 11 pages of comments and over 3700 views for this week’s thread, our forumites seemed to savor more of this show than usual. Coming off the heels of a decent Summerslam, Smackdown emanated this week from Greensboro, North Carolina. In less than 26 seconds, Chris Benoit managed to defeat Orlando Jordan for the United States Championship, which might indicate the reason for the larger-than-average thread. Because of this abnormally short match, I am pleased to present to you: THINGS THAT CAN BE DONE IN 26 SECONDS! A 100M dash: Orton/Holly. Leon Thomas: “Orton looks more like a gay underwear model than a wrestler.” smashmouth: “I thought Holly had become a Taker lackey for a second. Phew.” The Other George W.: “The Alabama Slamma? Congratulations, Bob, you now have a goofier nickname than, "Sparky Plugg".” J Marv: “So he just beat the Undertaker, but now Bob freakin' Holly is his equal? Who is booking this?” Angle03: “What are Tazz and Cole's problem? Its pretty obvious Cowboy Bob didn't take his pills on Sunday and wandered into the ring, and they have the nerve to blame Randy, shame on them.” smashmouth: “Damn, they're giving Hardcore Balding an awful lot of offence.” Tiffany Diaz: “That was a good match. Orton's cockiness is just awesome.” Plane Crashes: The announcement. GulaidFatah: “They shuda brought back Cyrus!!” smashmouth: “You've got to be kidding. The Network??? ECW all over again.” Leon Thomas: “Heh. WWE is pretending UPN still has an interest in the show.” The Other George W.: “Commercial break. Who wants coffee?” Angle03: “They should have the UPN guy come in and put up posters for all the UPN shows in Teddy's office. And have Tazz and Cole talk about some UPN shows, for example in the middle of the match Cole could look over and ask Tazz "Did you see Veronica Mars last week? It was awesome".” Canadian Hitman’s love life: The Peep Show. Leon Thomas: “It's true. Christian speaks truth here.” The Other George W.: “Ike Turner/Tommy Lee Husband of the Year Award? I gotta see that trophy!” Gravy Train: “Nice little line there...what have you done lately?” RandomBlackGuy: 5-time,5 tim...............MEXICOOLS?” GulaidFatah: “I realy don't like where this mexicools stuff is heading why can't they just stick to cruserweights.” smashmouth: “They didn't even use their Juan Deere to retreat.” Making Toast: ½ MNM vs. ½ LOD. TheDragon: “Is that mole lower than what is was before?” Gravy Train: “"Propagandist" would be a kickass gimmick.” Leon Thomas: “MNM's coats remind me of the episode of Seinfeld in which George's fur hat is discovered to be made of rats.” Tiffany Diaz: “Seriously, Melina looked like she killed some skunks and decided they would look good in her hair.” Leon Thomas: “A butterfly died on Heidenreich's face.” Cup of Coffee: Benoit drinks. J Marv: “HA. It's a thing of beauty.” smashmouth: “Good to see Benoit with a belt once again.” Angle03: “I don't know what's more exciting watching Benoit make coffee or OJ tappin in 25 seconds.” Leon Thomas: “OJ needed to do hamstring stretches first.” Tiffany Diaz: “Benoit whistles while getting coffee. Awesome. Best segment of the show.” KidNtheHelmet: “That was the most unintentionally gay sounding promo this side of Billy & Chuck. "I need you, and for longer then 25 1/2 seconds, now put your kneepads on."” Making a fool of yourself: Handicapped match Zero Signal: “Finally! How long has it been since they actually showed Christian's entrance?” Gravy Train: “I like Crazy's moonsault. It sounded very heavy when he missed, which makes it seem like a stronger move when he hits it.” RandomBlackGuy: “Who loses to a double backdrop in this day and age....my god. That was horrible.” Total destruction: “The Network” returns. Leon Thomas: “Randy and Josh must give each other hair gel tips.” Tiffany Diaz: “No, Orton. Taker just pretends to be dead. Huge difference there, babe.” TheDragon: “That "network" guy looks like a slimy insurance salesman to me. I don't trust him at all.” RandomBlackGuy: “This is gonna be big, huge, stupendous, great, amazing, earth shattering! Oh Man, I can't zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz” Gravy Train: “Old fashioned lingerie match? I hope this will be as good as the one Bruno Sammartino and Ivan Koloff had at MSG in 1971. That was a classic.” J Marv: “Why is her music still "Walk, Idiot, Walk?" I mean, you think they would have changed it by now.” smashmouth: “Damn, one leg of Stacy is probably longer than both of Melina's legs.” KidNtheHelmet: “And the hearts of 14 year old boys worldwide have been broken.” Internet Searching: Kennedy/Funaki Leon Thomas: “Smackdown actually mentioned Velocity?” ProWrestlingfanatic: “TIME LIMIT!!! I haven't heard a ring announcer say that in forever.” smashmouth: “The only thing missing was "LEEETTTTT'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMMMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!”” Gravy Train: “Hearing someone introduce themselves in the first person absolutely rules. I love this guy.” TheDragon: “Whoa .... that was a ill ass move.” KidNtheHelmet: “Kennedy looks like the illegitimate child of Bob Holly. Other than that I like his stchick and that move looked really painful.” Gravy Train: “if he's smart, he'll start calling his finisher "The Genetic Jackhammer."” Losing at a casino: The main event. Tiffany Diaz: “Orlando "Buckwheat" Jordan!” Nosy G: “I hope Rey's kid and/or wife doesn't come out tonight. I just want that storyline to be over.” ProWrestlingfanatic: “Here comes the CANADIAN Crippler, your UNITED STATES Champion, who won it last Sunday in WASHINGTON, DC.” GulaidFatah: “Woudn't it be great if Benoit won the 6-man in 20 seconds.” smashmouth: “I'll never get tired of seeing Benoit and Eddie in the ring together.” trance: “I though Benoit was going to tell Batista to get the tables for a second there.” KidNtheHelmet: “That was a hot finish. I would actually like to see a team of Benoit/Rey where they use the 619/German as a finisher.” In General. John C.: “Jordan carried Benoit at Summerslam, by the way. Ask Hogan.” tglancy: “No man, Hogan put them both over. He watched the match from backstage. Angle03: “Best part of Smackdown: The Raw Rebound” ProWrestlingfanatic, after a long discussion about skunks: “Wait, so, the Smackdown thread has turned into a thread about something that stinks? Am I the only one who finds that ironic?” Bob Davis: “However, after Smackdown moves to Fridays in the US on UPN in September, The Score has Smackdown listed for an 8 p.m. Thursday timeslot, meaning it will air a day earlier in Canada than in the US.” Final Thoughts: Nosy G: “Pretty good Smackdown!. I enjoyed most of it, although the first 30 minutes were slightly lackluster. I'll give it a 6.” J Marv: “6. Good opening match. Good promos by Benoit and Orton. At least they're using the cruisers. Fun 6-man at the end. Don't really know where they're going with this Mr. Kennedy, so I'll reserve judgement. Don't like this Network stuff though.” Tiffany Diaz: “Smackdown was pretty good. The matches weren't bad, and the segments were short and to the point. Why the writers can't pun on more shows like this, just confuses the hell out of me. It gets a 7.” Gravy Train: “Gave it an 8. I hear it's enough. Lots of wrestling tonight (5 matches) and I enjoyed 4 of them (Heidenreich/Nitro was what it was). Orton/Holly was a very good match, and I dug Randy's promo later. Loved seeing Cowboy Bob again, and I hope he sticks around. Benoit's coffee bit ruled. Enjoyed Kennedy's match too, just love the gimmick and what he does with it. Also, I'm intrigued to see where they're going with the Network stuff, as well as Booker and Christian. The main event was a little disappointing, as I thought it would set up a new feud or two, but it was a fun little match. All in all, a very enjoyable show.” Unlike last week, this episode of Smackdown got rave reviews, for the most part, from both the votes and the comments. It seems like a majority of the segments that went down for this week’s episode were met with approval from our crew. Seeing as I only have about 25.5 seconds left, let’s make a quick jaunt back in time and take a look at Smackdown: ONE YEAR AGO! On August 26th, 2004, fans of the Thursday night WWE escapades were treated to the second of 5 matches in the Booker/Cena grass-growing marathon; “OJBL” were at their comedic best, and Teddy Long announced a 2/3 falls match between Angle and Guererro. How did our time-travelling forumites feel about this episode? gennet on Teddy's crying: " Ill bet Teddy didnt cry that hard over Rodney Macks career going in the crapper." TheEvilIraqi on Angle/Luther/Long: "The interaction between these three is AWESOME. Can't wait for 2/3 falls, keep Long as the GM FOR FUCKING EVER." Leon Thomas asks about Heidenreich's attack: "So, security will get you if you crack a windshield but not if you choke out an employee, huh?" Tiffany Diaz on walking: "You know, my 88-year-old grandma walks faster than Taker....and she's had surgeries on both of her knees." RVDFan831: " Every match was good, with Angle/Mysterio stealing the show. Excellent match. Even the main event wasn't that bad. John Cena and Booker T seem to have a real rappaport with each other so their matches are fun to watch for me. If they can keep Heidenreich's presence to a minimum (wishful thinking I know), Smackdown is going to get really good. Angle's back, everything's clicking. Good times, and good show tonight. Worthy of a 7." Kody Rumin: "I gave Smackdown a 7. The show is a lot better than it was a few months ago, but it is still not phenomenal. But it is at least entertaining. Kurt Angle-vs-Mysterio was a very good match, and Kidman-vs-Chavo (minus the Shooting Star Press mishap), John Cena-vs-Booker T, and the main event were all pretty good, watchable matches." Smackdown in 2004 appeared to be turning a corner around this time. With a 2/3 falls match happening 7 days following this episode, it appeared that the show would finally be better than Raw for once. Fast-forward back to 2005, and we are sorely mistaken; although this year’s edition is getting marginally better. We have a thread going each and every Thursday night. Just remember, boys and girls, that it takes 4 minutes to run a mile, but only 25.5 seconds to make a cup of coffee. Thanks for reading. Until next time, we’ll smell ya later. Oratory Television Council |
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