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BTL: In Defence of...JBL ECW: 06/03/08 RRC: 06/02/08 RCC Spotlight: Confident Picks: One Night Stand 2008 OTC: Smackdown Grades - 05/30/2008
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Oratory Television Council: Smackdown Grades - 06/06/2008
by: Oratory Television Council on: 6/9/2008 1:42 pm est  Chris G: The show opened with La Familia gloating over the supposed demise of Taker at One Night Stand. The sight of Edge and Vickie Guerrero fawning over each has lost some of its comedy value recently. Maybe the relationship has run its course. She continues to draw insane heat though. Teasing Taker’s return when the lights dimmed was a good rib on the fans, even if everything pales in comparison to the Bret Hart return tease Shawn Michaels pulled back in 2005. We’ve seen Batista versus Edge too many times in the recent past to care about them locking up with each other once again. The rivalry is obviously just designed to kill time until the draft takes place and they can shake up the rosters. I didn’t like the stipulation that if Batista loses his match later in the show, he never gets the chance to challenge Edge ever again. There’s too many stipulations like that being thrown around as of late. No Disqualification Match – Finlay defeated Chuck Palumbo via pinfall Finlay wins what is hopefully the last encounter between these two men. It’s not so much that I mind these two feuding, because I don’t. It’s watching them wrestle each other week after week after week that bores the shit out of me. I mean, they couldn’t mix things up with a tag match here or there? The only notable thing about the match was that Finlay took a completely unnecessary belly-to-suplex on the floor, which looked so, SO painful. Finlay may be great, but nobody said he was smart. Big Show promo It doesn’t look like Show is going to make it to Night of Champions to challenge Kane for the ECW Championship. Can’t say I’m too upset about that. I’m glad they didn’t forget about his feud with Mark Henry. They’re doing a better job of building it up than they did with Show/Khali. Show isn’t being a complete dick to Henry like he was to Khali, and both guys didn’t lay a finger on each other here, so as not to reveal how horrible their eventual match will probably be. Both guys can talk a good game, which is all that matters at this point. 2-on-1 Handicap Match – The Great Khali defeated Deuce & Domino via pinfall (over Domino) This was a match for the ages. Arguably the three worst workers in the company all in one match. I don’t know if this signals the return of Khali as a babyface, given that he demolished two heels here. A face turn would make sense, because they’ve done pretty much everything they can do with the guy as a heel. Or maybe they’re going to try building him back up as a monster again. I love the way Michelle McCool said: “Oh, that’s right!” when Vickie Guerrero reminded her and all the other Divas that there was no women’s championship on Smackdown, like she just realised this fact. A new Smackdown Divas Champion would soon be crowned announced Vickie, in a ‘Golden Dreams’ match. No giggling at the back of the classroom now… Sal defeated Santino Marella via pinfall I can’t be the only one hoping Santino beat the crap out of Sal now can I? This was short enough to be inoffensive, and Marella’s charisma and willingness to humiliate himself saved this from being completely useless. Jesus Christ, that Jimmy Kimmel guy has his own television show? How did that happen? He’s a proverbial vacuum of charisma. Backstage, Miz and Morrison tormented the leprechaun for no good reason, though with WWE the way it is these days it may form the basis for a six-month feud with Finlay. And Chavo Guerrero looked oddly disconcerted when Edge asked him to be his best man at his wedding in few weeks time. Chavo seemed creeped out at the idea of Edge having kids with Vickie. Er…Golden Star on a Pole Match? So the winner of this match had to climb a pole and grab a golden star, thereby guaranteeing themselves a spot in a future women’s title match. It was absolutely horrible, but mercifully short and at least Natalie Neidhart won. McCool however should NOT be taking Tower of Doom suplex bumps from the top rope. She isn’t good enough of wrestler to do it and she could easily injure herself. Batista, Funaki, Nunzio & Colin Delaney defeated Edge, Chavo Guerrero, Curt Hawkins & Zach Ryder via pinfall (Batista over Ryder) This was a really fun main event. Batista and a bunch of random geeks hand-picked by Vickie Guerrero versus La Familia. I felt a bit sorry for Nunzio, because he does deserve a little bit better than to be considered an out-and-out jobber along with the likes of Funaki and Delaney, but all three guys did an excellent job selling their asses off and the finish put Batista over very strongly, as he single-handedly demolished La Familia and earned himself a title shot at Night of Champions. A strong finish to the show, but everything else was either boring or we had seen it a million times before. A 5 from me. Stavros: The first episode of Post-Undertaker Smackdown. Will this be a tribute to the career of the Deadman, or will it be an obvious tacked on post-angle show that affirms what every right-minded fan already knows, that the Undertaker will return? Well what did you think would happen. La Familia joins a cast of villains from Randy Orton and Kane to The Great Khali and Yokozuna in believing that they have finally rid the WWE of the big zombie. The crowd responds accordingly, at least to Vicky, by providing molten core of a gas-giant heat. All these geeks cluster around her for evil sustenance, grasping their full Champagne flutes and scowling like they are anything more than a greasy napkin to her diabolical XL bacon double cheese burger. Fortunately for them Edge comes on down to add an actual top wrestler to their little group and kisses his girl to the wild applause of thousands. Unfortunately none of those people bought a ticket tonight. Edge should really have let Vicky carry this promo. He’s a good promo, but he’s drawing no hate here. Fortunately Vicky’s announcement of their upcoming wedding saved this. Batista’s interruption is extremely rude and the Main Event is exactly what he earned. Belfast Brawl Finlay vs Chuck Palumbo Isn’t this just an ethnic no-DQ? Fortunately for both men the gimmicks add enough to this match that its more interesting than their last two. That being said, was it really necessary for Chuck to throw Finlay quite so high on the outside belly to belly? Horny cuts it short with interference and Finlay finishes with a chain and the happy pair celebrate with some good-ole dancin’. Oh, that’s ugly. Show’s eye looks pretty bad. The only thing uglier was the rest of this segment. How did Big Show and Mark Henry, both great promos, suck so bad on this particular occasion? I’m fine with Ric accepting the Corporate Patriot award on behalf of the WWE, and I honestly think that they deserve it, they do a lot to help the morale of the troops. I’m uncomfortable with the idea of the Corporate Patriot award and I’m sure the list of suitable recipients is short, but I’ve no problem with it in this case. Just don’t give it to Halliburton. D&D vs The Great Khali Guess who’s back. Back again. Khali’s back. Deuce & Domino had better run. This is exactly what Khali should be doing, squashing evil jobbers. Vickie announces that there will be a Diva’s title on Smackdown. The girls are wildly excited despite Vickie’s less than illuminating description regarding the upcoming contest. I’ll get this out the way, I don’t care about this Jimmy Kimmel stuff and I pretty much skipped right through it. Mick asked why Santino, a Raw guy, is on Smackdown. I’ll tell you why, because at least on this show they can edit this stuff. From what I saw this was still awful. Miz & Morrison wash the bad taste out of my mouth with some good old-fashioned dwarf-teasing. I have no problem with the champs facing the Irish, just as long as they stay champs. Chavo is the best man. That just don’t sound right. Golden Dreams match Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maryse, Cherry, Nattie, Victoria and Michelle Oh god it’s a pole match. Can’t it just be a pole-dancing competition? This was mercifully short with Nattie winning. Its not that I don’t appreciate women’s wrestling but some of these girls shouldn’t be near the top-rope and that’s practically all that gets done in a pole match. Jimmy Wang Yang vs Vladimir Kozlov Jimmy’s jumping spin kick over Kozlov looked awesome but this was largely the usual. I’m starting to accept the depressing inevitability of Kozlov’s push, just like Heidenreich before him. They can’t believe that this guy is going to be worthwhile. Edge, Chavo, Ryder & Hawkins vs Batista, Nunzio, Funaki & Colin Delaney Are these guys really bigger jobbers than La Familia? Colin’s won more matches in the last month than that faction combined, and Funaki’s had several competitive matches with Edge in the last year. The depressing inevitability of the supposed jobbers ineffectiveness was 90% of this match. It would have been better if they had gelled as a team and made their selection seem like a big mistake on the part of Vickie, but alas they got their asses handed to them and then Batista saved the day and won the match by destroying the top SD! heel faction in short order. Comically poor standard of wrestling tonight, no real good matches and at least one unwatchable one. No real angle advancement either, its clear that Big Dave will get one more shot before the draft and that nobody else on this show is doing anything really meaningful. 4 ________________________________________________________________________________ Email the writers at: Chris G – gow21@hotmail.com Stavros – rabidstavros77@yahoo.co.uk Or you can leave some feedback on our forums. See ya next week! Oratory Television Council 2008 Scores: OTC 06/06/08 Average: 4.5 2008 High: 8 2008 Low: 3 |
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