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JMO: 19: Wrestling's Temporary Tag Teams Pt. 2 TBR: #31: Rob Van Damnit TSI: #17 with Big Vito Lograsso TBR: #30: Oh, Canada RRC: 07/22/02
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SmackDown Review: 07/25/02
by: Oratory Television Council on: 7/26/2002 1:53 pm est 
The Oratory TV Council is in the house once again to provide you with analysis, opinion, grades and a lot of anger (see Xavier’s comments this week for that). This week, I’d like to officially welcome the “Canadian kid that moved to Arizona because he’s scared of a little snow” Raine Daniels to the Smackdown team. Actually, we all liked it better when he wasn’t around but he's here now so we gotta live with it. (Just kidding buddy. I think.) Moving on, Smackdown came from Indianapolis, Indiana last night. It was the first Smackdown show without Triple H (yeah, I hear you clapping, I am too), there was no Vince McMahon in sight (again, the clapping) and Brock Lesnar made his Smackdown debut. And what did he do? He smacked people down! Okay, I know that was a bad joke but I’m not the one who named the show. It’s Vince McMahon’s genius remember? Anyway, here are the boys to provide you with the excellent comments and grades that you demand of us. Bake ‘em away toys… Mark Price A Mark’s View confusatron2000@hotmail.com The future of Smackdown. Perhaps... I like the beginning segment with Stephanie telling us all what events are going on tonight. Thanks, Steph. I'm glad I know what I'm watching now. Well okay, I could do without that curtain jerker simply because Mark Henry was involved, but Kurt Angle was in it too so Angle's lack of suck made up for Henry's suck. It just proves that Kurt Angle can make anybody look good in the ring. Either way, Angle shouldn't be curtain jerking. I can't believe Brock Lesnar got off an F5 on Mark Henry though. But I must admit I've been looking forward to an Angle/Lesnar matchup. These two could realistically wrestle a real amateur wrestling match. Nice to see Brock doing the talking for once too. Eventually I figure he'll cut Heyman out of the picture altogether, because I don't even think he needs him. Stacy: "Hi Stephanie! I porked your dad!" Steph: "Okay, let's be friends!" Yeah. I don't get it either. Stephanie doesn't care that her still-married daddy is boinking a girl younger than she is. Gotta love that McMahon family. Venis vs. D'Von... To tell you the truth, I don't remember a single thing about this match. This could've been put on Velocity and I wouldn't have known the difference. I'd have much rather seen Batista compete, because as long as we're now all concerned with the future of Smackdown, we might as well get the new talent competing more frequently. Rikishi and Albert... See my comments about the previous match. The only thing I liked was that Albert actually looked menacing for most of the match, and proceeded to beat the crap out of Rikishi for most of it. This was where the big lull in the show was, in the first hour or so. Three mediocre matches, a few scattered promos (what was the purpose of the vignette with the Edge and Jericho countdown?), but really nothing all that spectacular thus far. The second half is where it started getting good. And I mean good. While I don't enjoy Hulk Hogan currently by any stretch of the imagination, Rock, Storm, and Christian made this one worthwhile. They gave it time, they gave it substance, and hey, guess what? The Rock made Christian and Lance Storm's offense look credible. Aside from the obligatory Hulking Up, this was a good one. People might complain about the Brock run-in, but I think it makes perfect sense. Brock continues his mind games by messing with The Rock but not actually touching him. I like it, because there's a feeling of not knowing when he'll strike. Ooh, Test is PMS'ing hardcore tonight. Test PMS totally rocks the body that rocks the party. I don't know whose idea it was to give Rey the Marilyn Manson contacts, but it makes him look freaky as hell. Either way, Rey Mysterio looked DAMN good. They gave this Cruiserweight match exactly what I've been wanting: 1) Time 2) Psychology 3) High spots Lately I've been somewhat unsatisfied with Cruiserweight matches because they've lacked those things. They were too short, all they did was fight back and forth, and the majority of the fighting was on the ground. This time around though, they gave it a whole 7 minutes or so, Chavo worked on Rey's ribs like a bastard, and Rey hit some killer spots. Either way, if he doesn't light a fire under the Cruiserweight division, nobody will. Test is pissed again. Poor little Rey-Rey. John Cena gets another big win, but this one was somewhat obvious for me. If he can go over Jericho on a PPV I don't see why he can't go over a midcarder on Smackdown. Still, I think his streak is just a tad overdone. He's not bad, and he has charisma, but I don't want to see him handed everything. Jericho/Edge in a cage was damn good. I swear, sometimes Edge is really on his game and sometimes he just isn't. Tonight he definitely was. Perhaps it's because he was working with Jericho, or maybe it's just because he's really found his motivation. I wish Jericho would stop jobbing so much, but this is week #2 he's been involved with Team Canada 2 (Once again I refuse the name they call them, because the Anti-Americans is a horrible name). Perhaps officially joining the stable would give him that push he needs once again. Rey makes his presence known once again as Michael Cole shills the future of Smackdown: Rey Mysterio, Edge, and John Cena. Time will tell, but I was impressed with each of them tonight in their own ways. Who was in the limo? Well since all the other major stars of Smackdown were seen on the show, I doubt it's anyone I would care about. *gasp* Oh no, Bischoff got Randy Orton! ...or maybe it was Hugh Morrus! That's it, I'm never watching Smackdown again if it was one of them. I just couldn't take their absences. Either way, Bischoff shrouded in mystery for the whole show couldn't have been more blatant if he was driving a Hummer instead of a limo. But it was entertaining nonetheless, even though I think he was just screwing with Steph's head. What started out slow turned out to be a very solid show in the second half. I'd give the first hour about a 6 out of 10, being pretty much mediocre all the way through with a few good parts, and the second hour a 10, because I liked the second half a whole lot. Average the two in together and we've got my final score: 8.0 Raine Daniels The Basement Rants raine_daniels@hotmail.com I'm finally back doing Smackdown grades, since I actual have the Internet and television at the same time. No longer am I a lower-class citizen; middle-class all the way!! First up on Smackdown, we see Stephanie's lovely, narrow face. Has anybody actually noticed that her right breast is larger than her head?? As sad as it seems, that's the best thing I can say about her at this point. The first match of the night is the Olympic Hero vs. the Olympic Embarrassment. How can a man that won a gold medal get booed, while the guy that finished in last place, is cheered?? Fickle. Even more odd, is that the guys that hate America - the "Anti-Americans" - are booed fiercely, but the guy that loves America is also hated. Does any of this make sense?? Ah well, talking about weird parallel’s takes my mind off this match, which Angle brought to mediocre level. With Mark Henry, that's a feat. Brock Lesnar, "The Next Big Thing Besides Peanut Butter and Jelly In The Same Jar," is cheered tremendously by yours truly, for bringing this affair to an end, and hurting Henry. Angle then complained to Lesnar backstage, and Lesnar broke a pretty good promo. Was Heyman really necessary?? Who else was praying to some God that Keibler would have the same role with Stephanie, as she did with Vince McMahon?? Reverend D'Von and Val Venis (not Valbowski) came out to the ring, and nobody cared. What'd they do there, anyway?? Storm and Christian get some microphone time. Good things all around. Rikishi faced Albert. And now it's over. Let's hope that never happens again. My two favourite Canucks then squared off with Hogan and The Rock, which brought in a pretty good match. In other words, Christian, Lance Storm, and The Rock never let Hulk Hogan in the ring for an extended amount of time. Too bad we couldn't see a victory by our tag-team champions, but at least they didn't technically lose. And at least there's a headprint of Hulk Hogan in the canvas now. Angle then talked to Eric on the phone. I'm sorry, but if you didn't pick-up that it was Eric Angle he was talking too, you're more lost then Liberacci at the Playboy Mansion. I don't get people's fascination with John Cena. Yeah, he's good for a rookie and all that, but he's nothing more than a mid-carder. He also looks more like a heel; trust me, a heel John Cena would do a ton for his career. Rey Misterio Jr. made his debut, and I'm only going to say this once: it's Rey Misterio Jr. The "y" shouldn't be there. The match itself wasn't a bad display, but the hype killed it. Misterio would have to fly off the top of the rafters to meet the expectations they set for him, but it was a damn fine match-up. Too bad nothing good for Chavo will develop from it. Test lost to John Cena. I repeat: The guy that's in the stable that needs to look strong to be taken seriously, lost to a rookie. Cleanly, too. On the bright side, it's only Test. And here's a note to the guy: Your pump-handle slam finisher?? It never works. The match of the night was, of course, the cage match. Some good stunts, but nothing incredibly stupid to injure themselves (i.e. a Swandive Headbutt off the top of the cage). The "Electric Chair-Drop" (it was actually a Reverse Electric Chair-Drop) was easily the highlite from the affair. Jericho just delivers all the time, and Edge still owes Angle his soul for putting him over so well. Once Jericho lost, my TV took quite the pounding, until Team Canada jumped over the barricade and attacked Edge, at which point I smiled and understood. Then four (I repeat: FOUR) Canucks got their asses kicked by a 5'4 Mexican. I suspend belief enough and pretend Triple H really is still good enough to be in the main event, but I draw the line at a guy shorter than Tazz, kicking the asses of three of the top talents on Smackdown....and some guy with beaver teeth. Bischoff ended the show by looking at Steph's shirt and envying the material, and also wondering when it'll bust. Apparently, Bischoff stole one of Smackdown's superstars; who wants to bet it turns out to be Rikishi?? Really, whoever they took, won't be a big name. I guarantee you that. This is about the time I think that I wrote too much, until I see the whole column the next day, and realize I have the least amount written, so I look lazy. Bah, freakin' people with their "I can type 40 words a minute" attitudes. Smackdown, overall though, was an entertaining show. Some slow spots (D'Von/Venis, Rikishi/Albert) and just some down-right good matches (the main event and Chavo/Misterio), while the backstage skits were of high quality. Plus, my Canadian boys were all over the show. 7.5 Xavier Von Erck The Xavier Files angrygerman@angrygerman.com I would love to be able to join you all this week in reviewing Smackdown, however I cannot. See, the powers that be at my local UPN affiliate signed a deal with the WNBA to broadcast their crappy games that no one watches and they chose this week to move Smackdown to THREE PM on Saturday so they can broadcast women who cannot dunk or play the game with any level of excitement. Instead I got to watch three year old biographies on Hulk Hogan, Mick Foley, Steve Austin and Andre the Giant. Wow. I'll be back next week, god willing that some estrogen-laden monsters don't make another mockery of the good game of basketball during Smackdown's timeslot. Thanks, and as Tazz used to say... FTW. Corey Morgan Just My Opinion cmorgan291@hotmail.com -- Mark Henry def. Kurt Angle via DQ. Well, Brock has run through the entire RAW Roster. Now that he's set for a title shot against the Rock at Smackdown, he needs to re-establish himself as a serious threat to the title. Not a bad start. I wonder if we'll see a Brock/Angle match come out of this anytime soon. -- Stacy is now trying to suck up to ol' Steph, not that Vince isn't around any longer. I wonder how long Stephanie will tolerate her existence. -- Edge arrives at the building and Stacy orders security to go after him. She calls Steph via cell phone to tell her about Edge's arrival. -- Rikishi def. Albert Albert looked like a smaller version of Vader in there. I almost thought they were going to have him win this one. Then common sense took over. -- Hogan & Rock def. Lance Storm & Christian via DQ. Hulk Hogan is Brock's next victim, as "The Next Big Thing" spoils the Rock's chance at winning the tag team titles, and reminding him that his Undisputed title might not be safe for much longer. --Decent backstage stuff with Stephanie going crazy trying to contact Kurt Angle (who had been on the phone with "Eric") to stop him from going to RAW. Apparently Bischoff has stolen someone from the show, but we don't know who. Looks like Angle is the prime suspect. -- It's open mic night at the Improv as John Cena attempts to get a good laugh from the crowd at Test's expense. The jokes were good, but Cena's delivery didn't work. I wasn't upset though. I like Cena. He's still new at this, and will improve with time. -- Rey Mysterio Jr. def. Chavo Guerrero Jr. I liked this one. Especially the finishing sequence. I love watching Rey Jr. (now apparently not being referred to as "Jr.") work. Having him wear the mask again is even better, as I had pretty much lost interest in him after he lost it in WCW. -- John Cena def. Test. John Cena is looking better each time he goes out. Test on the other hand is anchoring Cena down tonight. Match wasn't too bad, but Cena had a lackluster opponent here. -- Edge def. Chris Jericho. Good match here. I always liked the old cage matches where people got the hell beat out of them, as opposed to more recent cage matches where they were just used for more RVD & Jeff Hardy-esque spotfests. Not that there's anything wrong with doing high spots in a cage match. Hell, Rey Misterios cross body from the top of the cage was absolutely FANTASTIC! This made the entire match for me. Looks like we have a 6man tag match for next week's Smackdown. -- Pretty funny end sequence here with Kurt surprising Stephanie after Bischoff left the arena. The "Eric" he was talking to was his brother, and Kurt never had any intentions of leaving Smackdown. But that leaves the question of what Eric Bischoff was doing there in the first place. From what I understand, Next week's Smackdown is going to be taped the day before Monday's live RAW. Is it me, or will we see Eric Bischoff once again give away the results of his competition's show? I think Eric Bischoff is going to land another blow on Steph this coming Monday. I have to tell you...Since the roster split, Smackdown was usually the show to watch. But since Bischoff signed on, RAW has been the show to watch. Smackdown wasn't too bad, but it didn't do anything out of the ordinary either. Raw has shown tremendous improvements. I sincerely hope that Smackdown rises to the occasion soon. Because for the past 2 weeks, they've been definitely lagging behind. 6.5 John C. The John Report wwfjohnc@hotmail.com First off, I LOVED Raw this week. Kudos to the WWE for turning HHH heel. It’s about time. Maybe now he can look more like “The Game” rather than “The Lame.” Hey, that was pretty good. The one thing that stood out for me throughout the show was the fact that there were absolutely ZERO in ring interviews. Not once did I see a “sports entertainer” (or in Mark Henry’s case, a “waste of money”) grab the microphone and cut a promo. Sure, there were lots of backstage discussions like usual but not the usual in ring stuff. Why? I’m guessing it’s because of the poor reception Stephanie McMahon got last week when she was named the new GM. The crowd noise they piped in a week ago was way too much and I’m guessing they didn’t want to go through that again. Good idea by them. The first 50 minutes bored me. I didn’t watch all of it. As good as Angle is, I still can’t last through a Mark Henry match. Having Angle in a match that doesn’t even get three minutes is such a waste. However, it was nice to see Brock doing run-ins on babyfaces. He should be doing that more often. Looks like they have no role for Stacy Keibler again. Just like Torrie, Dawn Marie, Ivory, etc. Why have so many women on the roster if they aren’t being used? Use them as valets so they can get some guys over like Orton, Batista, Venis, Holly, etc. D’Von vs. Val. Cue the fake crowd noise. Next up are vignettes in the parking lot, locker room, parking lot, parking lot. The message: Always look for cameras in the parking lot. I do! Rikishi vs. Albert. Why have this match? Why not give Rey & Chavo five more minutes in their match? Honestly, does anybody care about either of these two guys? The Canucks vs. The American Heroes. Good match. I love the way Hogan is being used now. He’s not overexposed anymore and that’s why he’s tolerable for the first time in like six years. See, I can live with that. Plus, when he’s in the same ring as awesome performers like Rocky, Storm and my boy Christian, I can live with it. Solid action mainly because the Canadians were used as the pinballs. Hey, it’s better than not being on TV at all. Hogan took the F5 from Brock. It wasn’t visually beautiful but I commend the old guy and Brock for making it look pretty good. Still no physical contact between Rocky and…uh Brocky. Build it up. That’s the way. John Cena’s promo. All I’m going to say is I hope this isn’t a weekly feature. That’s all. Chavo vs. Rey Rey. Loved it. It’s good to see that Rey has gone back to his roots as a great worker donning the mask. His entrance was spectacular and the unique contacts he wears give him a mysterious (hey, sounds like Mysterio, what a coincidence!) look. The work in this match was top notch. Chavito has been great since the last days of WCW and now that the WWE has allowed him to get five minutes of TV time (it’s about time!) he is making the most of it. There weren’t any blown spots that I noticed and the crowd seemed legitimately into the match so that’s a good sign. Good work by both guys and a memorable debut for Mysterio. Test vs. Cena. Cena wins with a rollup, Test gets upset so he boots the guy after the bell. Never seen that before! Edge and Jericho had a really solid cage match. I don’t think it was as good as Angle vs. Edge about two months ago but this was still really solid. Edge performed well again and is showing that he is worthy of his push. I’m all for it. He’s always been a solid worker, he’s over with the crowd and he works hard no matter where he is on the card. Jericho has turned into a midcard jobber though and that’s what I’m worried about. Ever since he lost the world title, he’s done very little. It’s too bad because his character should be a guy that the show is built around yet he continually seems like a supporting character. Anyway, good work by both guys and nice brawl at the end. Do I smell a six-man tag next week? Bischoff is in a limo with somebody. Ooh, the intrigue. I say it’s Brock Lesnar going back to Raw. I think they want Brock to be on both shows leading up to Summerslam so he’ll appear on Raw “as a surprise” to blindside the Rock. I’m telling you. That’s what will happen. Just watch. All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the show. Good job using the younger guys, they used a lot of different people tonight and they built up the rivalry between Raw & Smackdown. That’s what they should have been doing for months but it’s good that they finally realized it. Strong show although, much like Corey, I think Raw has been better the last two weeks. Competition. Gotta love it. 8 Doing the math, the average grade from the OTC is… 7.5 That’s an improvement over the 4.7 we gave it last week and the 5 in the first week. The overall average is 5.7333333333333…….. Thanks to Mark, Raine, Corey and the WNBA’s biggest fan for joining me this week. We’ll see ya next Friday for the next edition of the Smackdown Grades by the OTC. Smell ya later. |
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